Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Since the start of the summer I have cut down most of my supplements by half or more. Half the iodine, one third the Vitamin D, one third the zinc, one third the herbs for my liver. Before I’ve cut my vitamins down and then just had to increase them again a few weeks later when my symptoms flare up, but this time that hasn’t happened.

In fact, I am feeling better and better. After four months on Rocephin, things that used to tire me simply don’t, and my energy feels steadier throughout the day. I go to the gym and push myself and instead of collapsing later, I can feel my endurance improving.

I have moments when I catch myself in the simple reassurance of the strength returning to my body, and realize I have an unquestionable feeling this strength will get me over this illness. I imagine myself free of taking pills around the clock and going to doctors, and I wonder if I dare to trust that life will come through, just this once, on the promise it holds out to me. And then it turns to a prayer: O please, let things be straightforward this time.

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