Sunday, November 9, 2008

SET BACK

At the end of my last post I mentioned things were going well. Besided the election, which has me feeling better about, well, the entire world, things have been on an uptick for me personally. I have just successfully worked my way onto the full dose of my current antibiotics, and have been sleeping relatively well and feeling OK most of the time. Months of looking at real estate are coming to a close as I found a house The Poet and I both dig and to my astonishment I am in the process of buying it far below asking price and with a low interest rate.

Even writing this blog has been a big step forward for me, as I have found a way to write again, albeit sporadically and in a totally self-obsessed way.

It is the way of the world for luck to turn, for things to go well and then to go badly. If there is one thing I have learned with this illness, it's that I can't get through the treatment on automatic pilot. I almost, almost thought that I would have a little time when, medically speaking, things would be uneventful. Over the past several months I got through the sleepless nights, racing heart and jitteriness of working up to the full dose of Bicillin and then Diflucan, and figured out a time table of when to do the injections and what time of day to take the Diflucan so that I can sleep and go dancing and have energy to cook and keep on top of my supplements. In the past two weeks I have even been able to cut my naps down to just one a day, and I've been feeling really quite OK, and my days were starting to fall into a routine.

But yesterday my period started, the only problem being my period just ended a few days before. I have had nothing like this happen in my entire life, not even in the last nine years of being sick. I don't know what to make of it. I am on two blood thinners (because Lyme Disease has made my blood hypercoagulable), both of which I've stopped taking entirely until I can get to a doctor tomorrow.

It's that familiar feeling of not knowing what is happing in my body, only in a new, unfamiliar way.

It seems there is no escaping Murphy's Law, but throughout the day I have been reassurinng myself with father's corollary to it: Things will go wrong-- and it's usually OK when they do.

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