CYTOKINES

After seeing Dr. Martin Ross yesterday and the naturopath the day before, the general conclusion is that I just have a virus.

"But it feels so much like my Lyme symptoms coming back," I said to Dr. Ross.

Not to worry, he told me. The Lyme symptoms are caused by cytokines, which cause the achy feeling and everything else, and the immune response to the virus creates more cytokines.

"Well, it's really thrown me for a loop," I said. "I was doing so well in December and January!" This virus has been dragging on for over two weeks, and iit's the second virus to hit me in the past month.

Dr. Ross always has a way of reassuring me.

"Don't worry, I see this a lot," he said. "With Lyme it can sometimes just take a long time to get over something like this. But you will. I can see you are so much stronger than when I first saw you. You have a essence of strength that you didn't have at your first appointment with me, and that isn't gone even though you're feeling a little run down right now."

Then he popped the question.

"Do you want to get off the Rocephin injection?"

Do I? Of course I do!

And I said no. It's working and I don't want to change anything that's working, even if it means a big fat needle in my derriere every morning. Besides, after two more months I can brag about getting an injection in my badonkadonk every day for a year. Serious street cred.

So I signed myself, and the Poet-- the manly administrator of said shot-- up for two more months.

Overall the mood of the appointment was light-hearted. This the second appointment with Dr. Ross when we've made jokes and laughed. He was downright celebratory. As for me, I kept saying, yes, I'm really happy. But it was the kind of happy when you just say it. You don't let your heart feel it, because you have this crappy virus, and besides, you don't want to jinx yourself. Because it feels like that day might come when you will throw your hands in the air and boogie, and you don't don't don't want to spoil the chance of that happening.