A NEW LEAF

Here's the view from my window: it's Spring in Seattle! I want to plant seeds and dig in the dirt, and jump on my bicycle and fly thorugh the bright air on two wizzing wheels!

But my heels hurt when I work in the garden and I have no bike. Nor have I had energy or time to buy one, even though I had planned to this week.

This Friday afternoon has me feeling tired and a little blue, probably because I did not do what I hoped I would this past week. I had thought I would be writing and having fun. Instead, I spent the week going to doctors and feeling pretty exhausted. The conclusion: I need to ramp up my Lyme medication. Tomorrow I start plaquenil to kill the Lyme in its cyst form and in a few weeks I will change my penicillin injections for a stronger antibiotic.

For the past five months all my spare energy has gone to fixing up and renting an old, neglected and needy house. At long last, it is rented, the tenants are set to move in Saturday, my work on the yard ended on Tuesday. (Nevermind that on Thursday I realized the pipes to the upstairs bathroom were leaking. My builder Sean was there last night to fix it.)

As I labored through the winter and early spring, I longed for nothing more than time to sit down and write-- all the imagined blog entries that occurred to me at odd moments, and the short story that has been shelved for months on end. I knew it would be the first thing I did once the house was finished. Instead, as I put away my trowel and screw driver and made the last phone call to Sean to fix the pipes, my body has been screaming out for attention. That is the nature of this illness. Once again I'm coming to terms with that. And it is OK.

Next week I will be on new meds, but I will also have no doctor appointments. I will buy a bike, I will ride it, I might even plant some seeds, and above all I will write.